How to Voluntarily Ban yourself when the issues become to much to0 cope with anymore

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I'm a Senior Advisor
Posts: 1,531

How to Voluntarily Ban yourself when the issues become to much to0 cope with anymore

I was asked by @arnym21 to pass this hint on as suggested it may be useful to some people.

 

At times, although I love supporting people on the forums, my level of frustration over a topic that seems to be spinning it s wheels begins to grow to a point where I am running the line of overstepping the terms and getting myself warned, or ultimately banned.

 

Rather than drive myself crazy and have everyone else watch me go crazy, I contact a moderator and ask them to 

ban me temporarily, at my request - in effect, I ban myself, because I have lost my own self control in the frustration.

 

For me it is also a critical life skill to know that I can't step out on my own and need to reach out and get them to help me for my own good and for the forum, because I have mental health disorders that can worsen if I get caught in this frustration loop from a legitimately frustrating issue, but then it becomes my own health at risk.

 

So if you need a break and can't step away - it just keeps pulling at you,

 

Contact a moderator and ask them, on your request to "place a temporary ban" on your account, and give you an email address to contact when you are prepared to come back.

 

I think I have done it three times over 3 years and some times I manage to get myself under control and not have to.

 

So, @arnym21 thanks for the suggestion to pass it on.  It has allowed me to step away and clear my head when I have got lost in the frustration of the issue and the discussion and I am really not getting anywhere except more frustrated.

 

Helps to keep my mental health and a good coping strategy for me and my mental health recover, but may also be useful for those who just need a break and just can't seem to stop yourself anymore.

 

Bruce

Solved! Go to Solution.
I Plan to Stick Around
Posts: 56

Re: How to Voluntarily Ban yourself when the issues become to much to0 cope with anymore

Hey Bruce,

 

Pls stay cool and calm. Whatever forums you take part in around the Globe, it really doesn't worse it to loose your cool over someone else's problems, and in particular forum login bugs that you reported lately on. Just take a break, go see some nature, enjoy life. Rogers has paid staff to deal with forum bugs, no reason for you to suffer. Good routing though for self-control to ban yourself. Smiley Happy

I'm a Senior Advisor
Posts: 1,531

Re: How to Voluntarily Ban yourself when the issues become to much to0 cope with anymore

Thanks @arnym21  I do my best, and this solution was one that RogersDarryl and I came up with together at a particular difficult time in my mental health treatment (I openly acknowledge I have PTSD), but with mental health issues that keep you confined and socially isolated, I have found many forums, beta testing and others that allow my to use my intellect, past skills and feel like I have meaning, but like any human being, I can get frustrated, and I know it is not worth it to loose my cool, so I find accommodations for my disability around mental health, and this is one of my solutions.

 

And yes to everyone, try hard not to lose your cool when you get fed up with your services, or whatever - it achieves little and can send some into a real tailspin - I speak from experience.

 

Interestingly, the forums, the support for challenges, the frustration of the beta, following up with support staff for customer service issues was actually part of my therapy for a stretch - I learned not to go at a customer service issue until I reviewed it with my therapist. I am learning recently that I also have to be empathetic of the programming teams on the other side, and that I have always had really high standards on programming and implementation because I had no choice (I was in health care), plus that is just who I am and fortunately, the staff I had too, but I too have lived through, with my users/customers, and my staff things that went bad and all we could say was, "we are working on it" - my staff did the work, I did the fire fighting of the frustrations.

 

But that was before PTSD found me, and I had to learn that life has trauma that comes along and that a lot of the stuff I used to get worked up are the small stuff and that the reality was that the small stuff would frustrate me because I had significant big stuff buried for years that would poke its way out in the small stuff - there are some here who have watched my growth and supported me and to all of you I say thank you.

 

It also makes me a strong advocate of the need to accommodate disabilities, like closed captioning, font size, etc. and so many other areas.

 

So, I threw the suggestion out on your request, as you are right, it may be  a solution for others, to allow them to stay cool and calm as you said.  I meditate, walk in nature, enjoy time with my wife, follow my two adult daughters, bounce frustrations off my son-in-law who used to work in customer service training and he just laughs (great ice breaker) - he educates me on the conflict of caring customer service people and for me to remember that programmers and tech support are caught between our frustration and their own frustration of wanting to fix the issue and often not having the answers when we call.

 

So, I am still around.  and even when I "ban myself", I come back.

 

Great advice, thanks.

 

Bruce

I'm a Senior Contributor
Posts: 328

Re: How to Voluntarily Ban yourself when the issues become to much to0 cope with anymore

@BS  

Go ahead and rant here.   It meets the "Need Help" guidelines. Smiley Happy 

The community will help you to stay calm on everything Rogers!

 

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